Using Changes to Align your Soul

I took a break this summer from my blog. It was a time to revitalize and refocus my energy as I headed into a fall that was full of new beginnings and opportunities. I look forward to Fall. As the leaves change to a rainbow of colours and the weather cools it gives me a chance to pause and consider how I am living my values in my life and where I may need a tune up to be ready for the changing season ahead. Being in nature and watching with awe of the changes our world goes through grounds me and helps me align my actions and thoughts with the desires of my soul.

I recently spent some time with a colleague who was going through a challenging time. They were struggling with finding their footing in their job and were feeling threatened when each new change happened around them. We spent some time talking about what they wanted their future to be and what they were missing in their current environment. This seems to be a typical discussion that I am having with many of my friends and clients these days. There seems to be a lot of uncertainty as people come back to the new"post-covid" normal. It almost feels like many of us are going through a season where we need to give ourselves grace and spend time recognizing what fills our souls - rather than just chasing success and goals in our work.

When I am not aligned in my actions or thoughts with my values I find it easy to jump onto the Dreaded Drama Triangle ( as author David Emerald calls it). When I am in this place I am focussed on what is not working and who might be causing my challenge. I need to take a conscious break in these moments to breathe and own my thoughts, feelings and actions. To do this I need to focus on some key questions:

1. What is happening ( facts, not stories)? If I were a camera,, what would I capture?

2. What questions do I have?

3. Do I need to engage anyone else?

4. What clarity or actions might I need to take?

5. How can I lean into the challenge I am feeling and use my discomfort to propel me forward?

I know that I need to get off the triangle and take full responsibility for my story as well as my action/inaction in it. I can't control others, but I can choose how I react.

Dr. Amy Cuddy is a researcher at Harvard who specializes in presence and the power of body language in guiding our actions and thoughts. Her research focusses on how you can use your body posture and presence to bring yourself the focus and confidence you need to step into your presence at work and at home. We learn at the edge of our understanding - not where we are most comfortable. By pushing into our learning edge we are able to propel past what holds us and embrace the exciting future we are meant to have. It takes courage and understanding to make this happen. Pushing our comfort zones increases the impact and influence we can have on our own thoughts and behaviours and on the examples we set for others.

The journey of learning and growing is about constantly expanding our boundaries so that we are growing our spheres on knowledge and influence. Learning is a lifelong endeavour that enables us to meet the challenges of our family, work and our world. Learning keeps our brains healthy and slows the aging process. Learning can only happen when we are in the territory of our unknown. Using our soul to ground ourselves so we can have the courage to lean into our discomforts is the edge where our greatest learning happens.

Our soul is constantly in a ebb and flow with our world. It is at peace when what is going on fits it and it feels unsettled when things are not aligned. Knowing what we value and focussing on what has meaning for us helps us ground and align our actions and the desires of our souls. This alignment is what brings us peace and joy in life. Lean into life with your heart and soul and let it lead you into the future that you were meant to have!

Enjoy the journey!

Judy