Renewable Energy : Follow your Soul's Call by Exercising with TED

Photo by

Krystal Grant

I recently took a week off work. It was not to travel or to get some task done around the house. I took the week off because I was feeling exhausted and was finding myself with much less energy to deal with the day to day things that come up in my life. I did not realize how much the last two years of being constantly on the alert to being part of making decisions for my organization, community and my family had taken a toll on my self care. I had lost touch with the person and leader I wanted to be and I was going through the motions. It was time to take some time away to refresh me. I needed to pause my current path and abandon what was no longer serving me in order to take a new path that would renew my energy and connect to my soul's work.

How did I know that I was in a place where I was no longer living authentically for myself? A few things jumped out to me. First of all my attention span had narrowed to a point where I could not focus on anything. When that happened my inner critic started chirping in my ear that I was not enough and I needed to consider shifting my role. Second, I noticed that I was running the bases of what David Emerald calls the DDT - Dreaded Drama Triangle. Everything I was doing was being filtered through a victim, persecutor or rescuer lens. Third, I was incredibly exhausted and could not seem to complete anything. Sounds like a great place to be, right?

When I find myself in these places my natural tendency is to withdraw. I don't want to talk to people and it starts to impact my health with headaches and dizziness. When this happens my world becomes really small feeling and I am not living the life that I was meant to live. I believe that we are all given gifts in this world that are designed to build connection and help each other. When I lean into my gifts, I find energy, synergy and I am able to be part of building something with someone else that is better than either of us could have done alone. This is my flow. Unfortunately, before my vacation my flow had run out of steam.

During my week away I found myself sleeping a lot the first few days. It was like my body needed to restore itself before I could find the focus I was looking for. I went for walks, meditated, prayed and spent a lot of time outside. Spring has always been a time of renewal for me and this is what I really felt I needed now.

As I went through the week a recurring thought kept coming into my mind - I had lost sight of my vision and was like the end of a flag flapping in the wind - being shredded on the end because I was rooted in my current situation but had nothing to ground me into a focus on the future. That was when I decided to begin my workout with TED. David Emerald, in his book the Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic, describes through a narrative how we can move from being embedded in drama to taking responsibility and action in line with our values and goals. It was then an image of an elastic came to me and my workout began.

I realized as I read through this book and considered my current situation that I had lost sight of my Creator. I was well aware of where I was currently, but I had missed the necessary focus on where I wanted to be. This dynamic tension between being realistic about where we are today and being clear where we want to be allows us to clearly see the end goal. Once we are focussed on that, we

are able to take baby steps towards learning and moving towards our destination. It was as if a light from heaven had shone down to me to illuminate who I was and the path back to where I needed to be. All I needed to do was stop figuring things out, get clear and start moving towards what I wanted to be. I realized that for me it was less about who or what I wanted to do, but more about how I wanted to show up as a leader, parent and wife. I had gotten into a rut that I needed to get out of and TED was the perfect way for me to start learning my way out.

Growing up my mom had always said to me when things got tough I should "take it to the Man upstairs". This meant if I prayed and calmed myself that a solution would present itself. It meant that I needed to lean in and trust that I would have an answer in time ( maybe not on my schedule, but in time). It also meant that I needed to stay focussed on what was important. It is interesting to me that Mom knew about the concept of "dynamic tension" and keeping the current situation in perspective of the future goal without having read anything about the concept.

As I clarified my desired future I took steps towards finding my inner compass again. It was as if having the end in mind was pulling me forward, even if I was not sure what the next step needed to be. I found myself discovering my energy again, I was reading and finishing things that I had no desire to even look at days before. It was an amazing rush of energy that my Creator welled up in

me and suddenly I was in a different state of mind and was feeling rejuvenated. It felt like bubbles of energy rising up inside of me.

Leaning in to the Creator is a sure way for all of us to discover who we are meant to be. What brings us joy? What gifts have we been given to help others? Are we using those gifts? For me this was an exercise in grounding in my values. It was about discovering what was off when I found myself jumping on the blame/victim train. Our values are the foundation for us as from our values we form our beliefs and take action. All our actions are led by a strong value foundation.

As a values based coach I know the impact that our values have on us. I also know, first hand, the impact not keeping our values front and centre has on allowing our beliefs and behaviours to get to a place where we need to course correct. As humans we share common values. It is the beliefs that we form around values that often create our differences in actions. Once I corrected my compass heading back to focussing on my values, I was able to find my way past the challenges I was experiencing. This will always be a learning for me. Like a plane that is constantly course correcting throughout a flight to adapt to weather, wind and other conditions, we also need to remain focussed on our end goals and course correct along the way. This is the human experience - a glorious adventure to embrace and grow with.

So, what's the lesson from my vacation story?

1. We are all at different places as we come out of the last two years. We need to be patient with ourselves and others as each of us rediscovers our path forward.

2. Being clear on your values is one way to stay on course for your direction in your life.

3. When you find yourself running the bases of the DDT, it is time to take baby steps towards working out with TED.

4. Maintaining a grounding in dynamic tension - clarity of where you are and where you want to be - will help you stay on track as you take baby steps to learning in your life.

5. Leaning into your Creator will help you clarify and take ownership for the path you are on and what you need to do to stay (or get back on) track.

6. Take time for self care - you can't help others if you are unable to function yourself.

7. Be brave. Have the courage to connect with others, clarify your goals. Have the compassion to understanding where both yourself and others are coming from and take steps to bridge gaps that are getting in the way of you mastering the life you are meant to have!

Be Authentic - have courage, clarity & compassion!

Judy

I can be reached at:

Judy@molnarconsulting.ca