6 Steps to the Post-COVID Dance

jajmolnar
Feb 28, 2022
5 min read

Our political leaders are starting to move cautiously into endemic times so we can get back to life the way it was - the good olds days. We may think we want to get back to the way we were, but the reality is that the last two years of new habits and isolation has shifted our collective comfort zone. We have children who have not known life without hand sanitizer and masks. We have people who have worked and learned in isolation for two years who will now need to get used to being around others. How will we ever get used to playing together in the collective human sand box without throwing the sands of judgement that we have seen flying during the pandemic?

Say what? Can't we just put this all behind us? Well, formal restrictions may be lifting, but now it will be more important than ever to connect with others and meet them where they are. There will be differing levels of comfort with what our new "normal" will look like. It will be like a dance where we will have to lean into each other and respond to each other's actions to get back into the swing of real connection.

1. Body Language - When we are meeting with others do they respond to what we are saying? Do the reflect our actions? Are they making eye contact? Are they smiling? Watching reactions will help you build rapport with others and read what level of comfort they have in being together.

2. Personal Space - are people moving with you or moving away as you move closer? We have been used to 2 meters of space for the last two years. Will that remain the comfort? Will some people come too close for comfort? If you are with someone and they move away it may be because you have offended them or maybe it is just a habit as they get used to being back in connection with people. Pay attention. This message will be a subtle but critical clue to successful connection with others. Personal space has always been a telling sign of comfort in relationship, with the changes in the last two years, it will be even more important to give people space if they move away.

3. Curiosity - How can we be sure we are reading the other person correctly? We can't unless we ask. Being willing to ask rather than assume what level of comfort people are having is the only way to give them the chance to ask for what they need. It is a sign of respect and care if you ask questions as to what they are comfortable with in your in person interactions. What might this look like? It could be something as simple as asking if it okay to remove a mask? Or asking if they are comfortable with in-person meetings? Or asking if you can shake hands or if there is another greeting that will work? It will be different for different relationships and people so asking will be the only way to know what comfort may have shifted for people since you last saw them.

4. Listening - My mom always said that I had two ears and one mouth so I should listen twice as much as I talk. Not sure if that was a statement on how verbal I was as I kid or she just needed some quiet time. When I think about it though, being curious only works if we are willing to really hear what the response to our questions are. Really hearing what others are saying rather than assuming everyone has the same level of comfort as you do will be important. Listening to both what and how things are said will help us hear intention and not just listen for what we want someone else to say. Truly listening will also build the bond of connection back up quickly.

5. Acceptance - During the pandemic I have seen such black and white options be put forward as ways to solve issues. It is as if the solution needs to be one option or another and a blend is not only impossible but it should be avoided at all cost. This one right answer ( my way or the highway) thinking creates divisions and leaves the parties with only a right and wrong way to respond. This is where our values demonstrate our actions. Which way is right depends on the side that you are doing at it from and how important it is to you. True connection relies not on this either/or approach to life, but rather on finding the win-win. It is about looking for how both sides can find something they can agree on rather than one side gaining all and the other side losing. As we move through the transition back to being in person we will need to accept that others may not see things as we do and find a way that we both can live or work in harmony while we relearn how to work together again. We need to be patient and accepting of the needs of others as we all figure out what the new world norms will be.

6. Patience - We will need to be patient with each other as we move out of restriction and allow everyone to find their own equilibrium post COVID. As a consultant I have seen the opinions during these last two years create more divisive and polarizing views than I ever thought were possible. People who were normally able to find common ground were quickly building camps of support and sniping or attacking each other. Somehow the name calling and battles became a means to prove that they were right and the other side was wrong. This did nothing to fight the virus and created animosity between people who would otherwise have been able to peacefully work in the same space. It will take patience as we get back into the post COVID world and each person determines what they are comfortable with in their work and social lives.

Not only will we have to find a new level of comfort as we come out of this, we will need to repair relationships that were damaged when battle lines were carved between the various opinion-based factions that evolved during COVID. It will be quite a dance of connection as we start to learn how to work and play nice with each other again.

We are fighting a virus, not each other. Let's remind ourselves of this when we are settling back into doing life in person together!

kindness + patience = connection

Judy