6 Secrets to Overcoming Your Ruts

Happy New Year 2022!

I live in Canada and in winter we get a lot of snow. As I write this we are in temperatures that are

-30 Celsius, and the drifted snow on our roads can get as deep as your mid calf. Trying to drive through the drifts of snow can be a lot like the feeling we have when we are trying to make positive changes in our lives. As each new year starts, we often make resolutions or set intentions that will help us improve our personal or professional lives. All these plans are based on positive intentions but as the year progresses we can find ourselves off track from our goals and stuck back in the rut of where we started. If you have ever tried to to drive out of ruts in a snowy road, you know what it feels like to push hard on the gas to escape the wall of snow only to be jostled back into the rut within a few feet. This is kind of like what can happen when we try to adapt ourselves to a new goal or habit in our lives.

What does it take to break free of the ruts in our life and move forward into the possibilities of where we want to be? How do we achieve success when it feels like all around us things are pulling us back into our past? Mindfulness is the key to overcoming your ruts and achieving your goals.

6 Mindfulness Secrets to Achieving Your Goals:

1. Clarity:

What are you trying to achieve and what is your inner motivation to do so? Knowing the why of our desired shift is the fist stage of many change management programs. The why gives you the push you need to stay the course when times get difficult. It also helps you define what specifically you will need to move forward with your intended goal. A word with a clear goal statement will help clarify what success will look like and choose the right path should you need to pivot your course. Is there a feeling you want to have? Are there specific outcomes you need? The more detailed and quantifiable you can make it the easier it will be to know you are on track. The more you can connect your goals to an inner desire or drive to achieve them, the stronger you ability to stay on track, or get back on track when you need to pivot, will be.

As an example, if your goal is to gain or lose 10 pounds it will be more compelling and meaningful if you can attach why that number is important. Will it give you more energy? Is it about being stronger? Or is it about the journey of being able to control the numbers on the scale? There are many reasons for the goal but the more you can connect it to a feeling or outcome ( energy or health over just a number), the more likely you will be to stay on track when you get pulled into a rut.

2. Celebrate Successes along the Journey:

Shifting direction, like driving in a snow filled rut, will pull you back into what you know. Our brains are hardwired to create pathways to solidify actions so we don't have to think about everything we do. By doing this we are able to reduce the energy needed to do routine tasks and thinking. This allows us the capacity to address novel events that happen and gives us the processing ability when needed to assess whether the new event is going to help or harm us.

This is the job of our limbic system and amygdala- to scan our environment for threats or challenges. This system keeps us safe ( and alive). It is possible for this system to get overloaded when we have too many things that are constantly changing and new. This may be the fatigue that many are feeling where the world is at with COVID. We have been on high alert and in a constantly changing landscape for the better part of the last two years. Our systems are feeling overloaded and many of my clients have spoken about a feeling of extreme fatigue. Medically we are seeing more burnout and mental health issues than ever because of the constant barrage of changes that COVID has challenged us with.

In these situations we often find ourselves getting frustrated with the goal not coming fast enough. This can result in us reacting by either trying to escape the situation, fight it or even feeling helpless and freezing. These are some of the common reactions that I am starting to hear from my clients the longer COVID continues.

How do we shift this? How do we calm our fears and help ourselves maintain the course when we are in a challenging time? One of the strongest ways to stay on track is to look at the goal as a journey, rather than a destination. Celebrate what you are able to do or what you have achieved rather than focusing on what is missing or still to come. Where have you been successful? Where have you been able to adapt to stay on track to your goals? Always looking at the gaps can magnify them to a point where they feel insurmountable - like trying to jump across the Grand Canyon. Celebrating the victories along the way can help you maintain the motivation and energy to continue through the ruts that shifting your habits will need. It is about balancing our scanning for threat with celebrating our progress along the way. Too much of either side is not healthy for our survival.

3. Check in:

Regular mindful times to check in with yourself or an accountability partner can help you stay on track and see the progress made. Checking in with yourself needs to be an intentional time and focus to assess where you were successful and where you may need to pivot. This empowers you to continue moving forward and know that you have what it takes to succeed.

Having an accountability partner can give you not only someone to celebrate your wins with, but it can also motivate you when you don't feel like you can do the challenge ahead or when you are caught in a tough time and need someone to empathize and help you find perspective. Sharing your goals with someone also solidifies their importance as no one wants to lose credibility with another so we tend to push ourselves harder to achieve our goals with a partner. Both of these intentional methods can be helpful to keep you on track.

4. Self Compassion and Care:

It takes courage and energy to shift out of our ruts and into our desired new reality. Being kind to yourself and mindful of your self talk will help you stay the course. We are often our own worst critics and our inner talk can be demotivating or even sometimes cruel. Monitor what you say to yourself - the more you give yourself love and compassion, the more you will be able to motivate yourself to achieve your outcomes. We need to speak to ourselves the way we would talk to a loved one or our best friend - with love, acceptance and compassion.

As we are shifting our direction it can be challenging on our energy and our mental health. Take time for self care and to celebrate small wins. If you are constantly pushing but never resting your body will fatigue and it will be harder to achieve your results. You may also run out of focus or energy before your achieve your goal. Elite athletes know that it is important to push for the achievement of their goals, but it is equally important to plan for rest and self care so our bodies and minds can recover as we push through each plateau or training goal.

5. Gratitude Journalling:

Writing a daily journal has been shown to help us reduce stress and help us clarify our thoughts and directions to achieve goals. This could be as simple as writing out each day where you are proud of your achievements and where you need to shift. It helps focus your mind on the goal and appreciate the work that is going into it. It could also include mini goals and commitments you will make to pivot and how you did with each of these. This makes it a planning and reflecting journal. Either way, jus the act of writing it out has been proven to reduce our stress levels and help us maintain a positive focus.

Taking this one step further is the Gratitude journal. As we try to adapt and rethink what we need to shift to be successful it is easy to get caught in a rut of negative thinking. Left unchecked, this can pull us back - like the ruts in a snowy road - and cause us to lose momentum towards our goal. A gratitude journal is a special kind of journal where the focus is on writing about what in your life or world you are most thankful for. It does not have to be focussed on the shifts you are trying to make. Gratitude releases neurotransmitters in our brain that energize us and make us feel great. When we are focussing on what is not working our brain released neurotransmitters that counter this and focus us to see the threat of a situation. Our brains don't know the difference between an actual threat versus a perceived threat. These neurotransmitters are like a see saw. It is impossible to have high feelings of sadness, anger or frustration and at the same time be in a state of euphoria or joy. A gratitude journal focusses our attention on what is going right. This helps us remain positive and focussed and gives us the drive to escape the ruts that we find our selves in.

This is not about being a Pollyanna. If there are real threats in our environment, it is not about ignoring them. Rather, it is about maintaining perspective about what things we experience that are truly a threat and require our attention and what are grounded in the negative perceptions or stories that we attach to what happens. The first one needs our attention to stay safe, and sometime alive. The second has a more discretionary side where we can choose to find what is working to help us move forward or pivot to the achievement of our goals.

6. Meditation and Prayer:

Taking time to refocus your thoughts and mind will help you stay on track. One of the strongest tools to manage stress and achieve goals has been found in taking time to meditate and connect with a higher source of power. For me, this is through prayer to God. For others it can be a formal meditation routine, chanting or listening to your favourite music. The key is to take time to recharge your mind the same way that eating fuels your body. Meditation and prayer reduces anxiety, repairs our bodies, and helps give our brains a chance to rest and organize our thoughts so we can pivot and move forward with our goals.

Achieving your goals takes planning, pivoting and deliberate attention to choose the path that will get you closer to your intended result. Mindfulness helps us to overcome the shifts that pull us back into what is easier or better known - our comfort zone. Our brain is designed to rely on established routines and pathways to conserve energy and give us the vigilance when needed. This mechanism keeps us safe but we need to expend effort with mindful and deliberate actions to break free of these same habits when they are no longer serving us. Over time, the focussed attention will create a strong path that will automate the new habit but this takes time. It is like when you are learning to drive, at first every action required you to think through each individual processes and it felt like you were trying to push a large rock up a hill. As you gained confidence and experience you have likely found that you have automated much of what was draining your energy when you first began your driving journey. This is the same process that happens with each new shift we try to make.

Embrace all the excitement and opportunities that your world has to offer you!

Connect with me to let me know how you are doing with your journey and give feedback for future topics. I can be reached for both a coaching assessment or training sessions by contacting me at judy@molnarconsulting.ca.

Wishing you continued health and success in 2022!

Judy